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Influencing your team

Career coach Melody Wilding explains how to create an atmosphere of connection, understanding and trust.

Forbes contributor and career coach Melody Wilding explains that the ability to influence those around you is one of the key traits of leadership. Managers who can do this are able to rally their team around a north star, and help the team to achieve more without having to resort to pressure or manipulation.

Influence is about setting an example that inspires others to do as you do. The keyword here is inspire. Influencing others isn’t about pressuring people to submit to your requests. Nor is it about manipulation. Influence, at its core, is akin to persuasion in the most genuine form. It involves inspiring others by how you show up and how you make them feel by leading them. So, how does a leader influence a team to work towards a vision, share their passion, and to get things done?

Influencing others isn’t about pressuring people to submit to your requests. Nor is it about manipulation. Influence, at its core, is akin to persuasion in the most genuine form. It involves inspiring others by how you show up and how you make them feel by leading them

If you’re a sensitive high-achiever (or what I call a Sensitive Striver), then you already have the tools that other less-sensitive leaders may not. Your team will understand that you care about their values as much as your own, because of your ability to read them and to feel how they are feeling. Your strength in empathy gives you a boost because you know what matters to your team. This creates a space of connection, understanding and trust. With that as your foundation, your success in influencing as a leader will shine. Here are some key skills to increase your level of influence.

Be Transparent

To increase your influence, you must remain open and honest. It's key to allow others to voice their questions and concerns and to answer them with transparency. Being honest is easy when there is good news to share, yet remaining 100% honest when the news is bad can be difficult.

The best leaders are transparent in all instances. If a question is posed that you are not prepared to answer, say, “I want to be sure to have all of the correct information before I answer that. Let me check the facts and get back to you by the end of the day.”

Be sure to follow-up as soon as you can address their question. Answer with positivity and openness, and you will achieve a team committed to you and your goals. As a Sensitive Striver, if problems do arise, your ability to communicate with empathy will be a guiding light for the rest of the team.

Inspire Loyalty

Inspiring a sense of commitment from your team is vital to successful leadership. This can be accomplished by motivating and improving the working lives of your employees. Look for and speak to their accomplishments. Understand that your success also lies in the quality of people that you help advance within the company. If someone in your group is going above and beyond in their role, acknowledge them. The pride you take in your team’s successes not only motivates your team, but inspires deep loyalty to you as their leader.

Feel free to thank those who do more than expected.

Lead By Example

Sensitive Strivers don’t fall short on determination. Lead by example by staying confident and focused on the end goal. A leader crippled by self-doubt or deterred by setbacks sets an uneasy tone and can contribute to chaos among the team. When a problem emerges (which you have most likely played out in your head), keep a steadfast and positive attitude.

When a problem emerges (which you have most likely played out in your head), keep a steadfast and positive attitude. Lead by example by staying confident and focused on the end goal

This is important, though difficult, especially if your reputation is on the line. If you see yourself struggling to maintain or regain positivity, take a moment to remind yourself that you can change your mindset. Your attitude is your choice, and your team will mirror that behaviour. Turning obstacles into unprecedented opportunities generates a collective calm that is nothing short of inspiring.

Beware The Perfectionism Pitfall

Sensitive Strivers tend to be perfectionists. Your impeccable attention to detail and ambition to keep going until it’s “flawless” contribute to your success. Yet, at other times, your need to do things “right” can fuel anxiety. As Brené Brown says, “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there’s no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.” (From the 2018 book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are).

Carrying your expectation of perfection over to the team you are trying to lead will chip away at the group’s morale. To avoid fallout, stay focused on what is working, and what you can control. More likely than not, the end goal is still intact.

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coach Melody Wilding perfectionism team career leadership

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